One Year After My Physical Activation
This article is the beginning of a whole new series of accounts, which chronicles many more life-changing events, from the years 2015-2019. These are more of my personal experiences, that I had lived through right after my physical activation to begin the Ascension Process began for me.
All of the events that I’ll be discussing in this next chapter, begins one year after I had physically activated. At that point in time life was beginning to feel better on a physical level. However, the PTSD was causing some serious issues for me by this point. The increase in physical energy embodiment I had experienced, were getting more and more consistent. My loneliness had grown even more pronounced and it was an extremely lonely time. I also did not see, or, feel anyone in my physical area, or, space, that was existing in the exact same frequency range as me. This is where thing’s began to get better for me in the long haul, but I had to learn to be more aware. I had to very quickly learn more about myself while being more awakened than ever before. It was a challenge, but eventually I managed to figure everything out.
This is my first article (in this new series,) and it is going to focus more on my personal experiences, while living through my own individual ascension process. This article will not include any topics, events, experiences, regarding what happened to me during my physical activation. That part of my life is all over and done with. Everything that I have written about in those articles, they are all in chronological order in the section titled Energetic Earth: Personal Stories. While this is a continuation of my personal experiences, they have nothing to do with that time. This time period between 2015-2019 explains moments that I lived through, a year after everything had happened and it was over and done with. This article continues a year to the date. This time period begins in March 2015 and while life got easier, there were new issues that I went through. New issues that I had to quickly learn to deal with on my own, that might be beneficial to those of you who will be reading this in the future. Those of you who will be experiencing the same exact thing’s, who may want to read about how someone else handled the same issue themselves.
As 2014 ended, it was surprisingly easier and the next few months a lot of the physical issues that I had encountered during the previous year began to slowly dissipate. Everything, that I had gone through in 2014 had been challenging, life altering, yet at the same time, it was all so necessary, because I evolved much more into who I have always been in those first few months. I can say that now after having gone through it, but I also saw how I changed. I saw how I really evolved. Which is the whole entire point when you are experiencing a new layer of physical awakening. At the time I felt like c**p and I looked like it too. Despite that it took me finally realizing that, at that point to notice how much I changed within that year. As January, February and March of 2015 approached; I noticed how much easier life got for me. It got better physically. It got better emotionally. I found that I could relax much more. I was not on edge as much, neither was I anxious, or afraid, but I was still experiencing moments of sadness, depression, angst, and lots of traumatic experiences continued to come up through out the year. As time went by I had to try and deal with those traumas as best as I could.
I think for all of 2015; I really began dealing with everything that I ignored for all of my life. How I felt. How I had lived my life up until that point. Was I Happy? I had to deal with all of my repressed emotions, what I thought about and never dealt with. All I did was think, think and think some more. I thought about what I kept in and I really learned to release all of that. What I experienced in 2014 was a physical awakening, and what I experienced in 2015 was a total and complete releasing of my own buried issues, and all of my emotions. Just tremendous hills of and mountains full of buried traumas. Which is why I was kept in a holding space for two years from 2014-2016. I was isolated, in the basement of my home. So, that I could have all that time to go through what I needed to and deal with life times worth of personal issues and past life ones as well. There are a few personal issues that I was dealing with at that time, that I would like to share and this was one year after having physically activated.
Early 2015 Ascension Loneliness
The months of January, February and March of 2015 were not easy months for me. I remember that entire winter was one of the worst ones for me. I was coming out of being constantly attacked every day, the woman who was harassing me stopped, the physical symptoms began to let up, or, I was already getting used to them. Even on a psychic level thing’s started to die down a bit, everything wasn’t so strong – once I got used to how It was for me at this new level. Despite all of those challenges; I still had massive issues on an emotional level that I was starting to deal with.
One specific event that I remember vividly, involves having to deal with my ongoing PTSD which involved my OOB experience. It was early on in 2015 and over the next few months it got worse. I really had a hard time trying to manage my emotions, in regards to re-living that experience…
One night, I was walking out of my bedroom one day. (In my home we have a basement and an upstairs level. Two levels and that is it. Downstairs, in the basement area, we have two bedrooms on opposite ends. So, when you walk out of one bedroom, you automatically can see the door on the other end of the basement to that bedroom.) As I left my bedroom, I saw the bedroom across the other side of the basement. Out of no-where I completely lost it. I immediately remembered being in that room, then leaving my body and floating around on the ceiling looking at my body. I became triggered. It triggered something within me. As I remembered that experience, I ran back into my room. I closed the door. Then I just broke into tears and I could not stop crying. This happened frequently during the year. Along, with other moments of such nature.
A second incident, involving PTSD. Involved my experiences that I went through in 2014. It wasn’t about one isolated experience or event, it focused on everything that I went through. I remember often early in the year, how I kept becoming depressed and re-living those moments over and over. I would mutter to myself how I should not be here. There were times where I felt like I should have died, that I was not meant to be alive. That I technically should be dead. Like, feeling guilty for having stayed alive. It was an on going theme, that entire year. Which really played with my mind. The loneliness was really crippling. I honestly had no idea what to do for myself, with myself at that time. I felt very isolated from my family, who had no clue about any of this. I also did not feel like I could tell them, because I knew that they would not understand any of it. Not the physical activation. Not the past lives. Not the OOB or NDE experiences that I had. Not the psychic abilities either. Which was something I was keeping to myself my whole entire life, along with other aspect(s) of myself.
What helped me during that time believe it or not, was reading about everything I went through. I never did therapy. I never did counseling of any kind, nor did I speak to anyone. I found that reading about NDE and OOB and the Ascension Process online. That really helped me. I read a few books by Dannion Brinkley. Which helped me to put some thing’s into perspective. I read about other people’s experiences as well. I read a lot by a lot of people, but I always made sure to take what they were saying with a grain of salt. I always tried to feel what was really honest and real. I had to shovel through canyons full of nonsense. I also had began hearing a lot of terms and words, which made no sense to me but that I felt I needed to look up. It all really helped keep me sane. It all helped me to move forward, in regards to everything that I experienced with my Physical activation.
This is everything that I had experienced at the time. A year after having physically activated and yes; I was still just beginning to deal with my own problems. I was dealing with a lot of PTSD from a lot of stuff. My physical activation. Almost dying a few times. The negative attacks. All these things’ left a lot of scars and I had to deal with all of this. Not to mention all the internal rage, hate, anger, self loathing, self doubts, things’ I did not accept about myself, past experiences, they all also had to be dealt with. I noticed early on that there was a huge imbalance within me, that there was a lot of stuff hidden deep inside. Which was the cause of all of these imbalances. I learned early on that these issues needed to be addressed. Either on my own or with the help of a professional therapist. I chose to do all of this on my own, because I knew on instinct that I had to do it for myself. I also was not working. I had money saved and I knew I needed it to live more than pay someone else to help me. When I could do it myself for free.
A lot of people think that when you have an experience involving being activated, awakened, spiritually awakened, physically activated, awake, woken up, or, however else you like to call it. That you just experience it and nothing else happens afterwards. There isn’t just a spiritual awakening and it is over, a hell of a lot more comes after it. Your entire life changes. You suddenly become apart of something so beautiful, otherworldly, difficult, yes! but it really changes your entire perspective of life and how you live it. You become more aware of things’ you never knew were even possible, a lot of the time working on yourself daily becomes part of that. Which is what I experienced after it was said and done. That was life for me a year later. Self discovery and learning who I wanted to be. What I wanted in my life. What I did not want. That I was ultimately alive and living what I felt, was most likely going to be my last life. The only thing I am here to do is help the earth evolve and get myself ascended.
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